Amanda - Day 4 (3/9)

A Week in the Life of a Dance Teacher - Emotions are a normal part of my day

7:30 Get to work super early to check what happened while I was out yesterday. My colleague texts me to remind she is having dental work and will be a few minutes late. I remember this and make a mental note to make sure her class is good to go for when she gets there. I enjoy the days I can get there early. She texts me again at 8:30 to say it will be a few extra minutes so I go get the chrome book cart and take it to the auditorium for her. I tell the theatre teacher so she can also keep an ear out for them while I get my class started. I talk to my bff about life and we laugh about my "love life" or lack there of. It helps to start the day with laughs!

8:55 1st Period Dance 1B (sophomores)

I pick up both dance classes at the locker room and walk them the arts hall. Several of my former students (in the other class) tell me how they miss me and how they want to have a class with me again. This is so heart warming. I pull one of them aside to tell her that I chose her as my Teacher Tea student. This is a big honor at our school. I choose her "just because" she makes my day and she always made me feel like a great teacher. I walk across the hall to my class, who is standing at the barre ready to go! I hook up my iPad and start the ballet class. They show growth in just one day. They are relaxed and quiet as we move through the combinations. I feel great about how I'm moving. This is not always the case. When you have to physically demonstrate and be "on" all the time it can be scary but today I felt like I was able to look out and see their successes. I remind myself to stop talking through EVERYTHING so that we can enjoy class. Once we get through the barre, battements on the floor and jumps, I remember I never started the cart up so I race to turn on the computer while they get water. Guess what?! There's an update. It takes longer than normal for the computer to load so I ask them to review the Swan Lake choreography. They mostly work while I impatiently wait. It finally loads and I show them the next section, to everyone's dismay... it's fast and jumps and complicated. I hate this type of movement (petite allegro). But I slap on a smile and start. We are all struggling. I feel them slipping. So I determine its time to call on the ballet god, Brad Parquette. I tell them about my constant crying bouts in college. How petite allegro brought out the ugly tears and how this amazing teacher would encourage me. I pull up his picture so they can see his kind face. They are all laughing at the image of their teacher bawling her eyes out in class. I get in the front and I challenge us all to do it three times before we leave. It repeats four times. I can't make it past the second repetition, but I make a fool of myself trying. Smiles all around. Several students ask if the video is on Haiku. I feel relieved that they will work on it. Molly comes in after they leave. We discuss how the rehearsal went yesterday. I was a little worried about a turn section. She can't figure out the timing. Neither can I. We make a plan of the things we need to clarify next week.

10:30 2nd Period Dance 1A (freshmen)

I bring them to class. I remind them that they cannot take more than 3 mins changing and if this continues I will count them tardy... they get to work on their quartets. I check my email and see that a student is in ISS. She needs work. I struggle to think of what to send since I haven't seen her since Feb 14. I start an email then realize I need to just walk down. So I get the book that former students gave me about Isadora Duncan. She is in the special education program so I feel this might be a good opportunity for her to be successful. I go to meet with her, leaving the class to work (with multiple teachers alerted to keep an eye). I can't transpose the crazy conversation I had with her but the main idea is that she seemed to appreciate me visiting her in person and is considering actually coming to my class. I return to class. I watch a certain group carefully. There is another extremely special needs student in the group and she does not want to work but wants to talk. I watch the group to check for signs of frustration. They are coping but not getting much done. I talk with the "leader" and encourage her to keep going and not allow it to get off course. She appreciates the pep talk. It's hard to watch kids struggle but it's important to let it work it's ways out as long as it's not getting mean or causing kids to shut down. After they leave I tell molly about the ISS student. I want her to come back but I am nervous. I admit that I may not have helped her as much as I could when she came. We remind each other that the students are 14 and we need to mold the environment for them. I decide to follow up on the parent, student and administrative level to make this succeed. It will not be easy.

12:00 3rd Period Lunch/Travel/Planning

BFF and I eat lunch, share personal and teaching stories. We support each other and listen. Then we run a few errands, get a candy bar and talk about upcoming things. It's a pretty relaxed hour and a half.

1:30 Leave for other school. Arrive in time to talk with teachers about my frustration from the 4th period on Tuesday. I leave to follow up with administrators. This is weird because I do not talk with these administrators very often and they feel standoffish to me. They are standoffish today. I don't feel confident about seeing this class again.

2:10 4th Period Dance 1B (9-12 graders)

I talk with other colleague about how to handle all of the concerns I am having with this class. She listens carefully and asks if she should participate. I say no, for now. I start class. Things are going better today. Many students are absent as well as suspended. We get through most of the barre exercises with a light hearted atmosphere and I am feeling like maybe we are over the previous concerns. Then... students open my door and request two of my students come outside. We are in the middle of a combination so I say no. Three students go out anyway. I finish and am furious. I inform them that it will result in a discipline referral. They want me to write it now. So I do. When I return to class I have everyone sit down. I explain that my job is to teach and keep them safe. Anything that prohibits me from doing that is a problem. I feel like students are feeling regretful. This is a good emotion for them to feel right now. We stand back up and get back to class. Things are better. I also tell them the story about how I hated this type of ballet. We work for the remaining time and I am able to complete all four repetitions of the movement. I cheer for myself. They are smiling. I know these things can take time so I am happy about the small progress but I'm ready to go home. I speak with several students about my concern that they are constantly late and not dressed out. I explain how great it is when they feel comfortable and aren't behind. They nod, knowingly. I hope this will help. I wonder how much students make fun of me. It probably seems weird to professionals in other realms that I think about this but I need buy in for this work. I make a mental note to tell more personal stories.

Many people think that, by default, teaching dance is fun, but most days it is extremely emotional. I have to put my skills and my body on the line every moment of every day. I have to have a thick skin and a quick brain. I have to look at faces and read the energy in the room. I have to jump even though my breasts might bounce. I have to let things go or address things head on. And I have to know when to do what. I have to give grades even though I hate to judge anyone's experience. Then I have to leave and start each new day as if the previous one didn't happen. Being a dance teacher isn't about fun. It's about looking at people's souls and helping them to see something they never saw. It's about sharing my soul and allowing them to rip it apart. But sometimes, like this morning, they look back and realize what I was doing. They remember my soul and they hug it. And each hug has to last until the next one. And you never know when that will be.